did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
