I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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