I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
How's work?
Spinning.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
