Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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