So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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