I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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