two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
