Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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