My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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