He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
