You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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