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Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
