I accidentally had phone sex last night
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
