Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
