I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
