I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
