i don't like sucking hair
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I've blown a few things in my day
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
