I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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