He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Randomize