Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
