I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
