i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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