So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
So. Much. Porn.
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