well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
