I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
