Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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