Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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