In the future we'll all be gay
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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