You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
