my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
