put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize