What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
