is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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