Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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