Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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