No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
