It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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