i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
