I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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