Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
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