i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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