when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
