Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
