Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
