Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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