I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
it glows. i had to have it.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
