i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
