we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
