For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
