Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
But break dance skills will only take you so far
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
