Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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