There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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