why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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