Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
