Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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