Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
