the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
