you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Someone shattered a urinal.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
