THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
