Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
