i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
People in love make me want to vomit
Ketchup is God's man juice
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
