this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
